Prenup may be wise when assets are unequal
Dear Annie: I am a 61-year-old woman. I am retired, and I live off of my investments, which generate enough income for me to live comfortably. I have paid off my mortgage on the home in which I’ve lived for 30 years.
I’ve known “Joseph” for 25 years, but we have only begun dating in the past six months. Despite having a high-paying job, Joseph has only a quarter of the assets that I have. He is talking marriage, but I’m afraid if we later divorce and divide our combined assets, I would no longer be able to afford to stay in my house.
I love Joseph, but I worry about this. He let his ex-wife handle all of their finances and, as a result, has little in the way of retirement savings. He also still works in a job where he can stay for many more years – whereas, if we divorce, I’d have trouble finding a job that would pay enough to live decently.
What do you think of a prenuptial agreement in our case? – Wedding Jitters
Dear Wedding: We are in favor of prenups whenever one party enters a marriage with substantially more assets than the other. It is particularly important later in life when a financial setback is more difficult to recoup. There are various ways to handle this, so we suggest you speak to an attorney with experience in this area.
Dear Annie: A co-worker of mine sent a wedding “Save the Date” card addressed only to me. I’ve been married for eight years. When the invitation came, my name was the only one on the envelope, and the response card was already filled out, marked for one person attending. Obviously, my husband is not invited. After speaking to a few other co-workers, I realized I was not the only one. All of the other invitations were the same: no spouses.
My husband has decided it is too awkward for him to attend this wedding. The consensus among my co-workers is that this is quite rude, and a lot of people’s feelings have been hurt. The bride is only 24. She’s been here a year, and I have to continue working with her. I’m not sure how to proceed. What should I do? – Minus One
Dear Minus: It is rude to invite half of an established couple to a wedding. But let’s be generous and assume your co-worker doesn’t know any better. She undoubtedly figures that co-workers are in a separate category and she doesn’t need to include their spouses. One of you might inform her that she is incorrect and has unintentionally created some ill-will.
Other than that, however, it is your choice whether or not to attend. When the festivities are over, please say nothing more about it. Your work relationship does not need to be affected by her poor manners outside of the office.
Dear Annie: Your advice to “Spinning the Wheel in Pennsylvania” was so right. I have a daughter, and my twin sister has a son. They are a few months apart. Even though my daughter was four months younger, she was ahead of her cousin, but my sister and I understood that girls are a little more advanced than boys at that age.
We were disgusted by how family and friends compared the children constantly, as if my nephew had to prove himself to them. Of course, we were there to reassure both of our children how awesome they were. Today, my son and my niece are college graduates and super-successful.
Never hold back a child in order for them to move at the same pace as another child. And when anyone, be it family or friends, compares the kids, back up your child! – Twin Moms
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.